To the girl who always gets her heart broken, please know that it’s totally fine to get hurt and be in pain. I will not tell you to stop thinking about him or to walk away immediately from the place where he left you, there’s a high chance that you can still think of him every 12AM, you will still find yourself listening to the music you both love, you can’t stop yourself to search his profile and browse your picture together. I don’t have the right to say that you need to stop that because one thing I am sure — your pain and brokenness is valid.
I know the feeling. Those are the moments where you will ask God with a lot of “whys”. We will tend to ask a lot of things because we are in a situation that we can’t even explain ourselves. Many times, you will find yourself in the middle of the night crying because of the past that keeps on haunting you. Time will also come that while you’re staring at a cup of coffee, your tears will slowly fall down and for some reason, you can’t stop crying. It is totally fine because your pain is valid and you have to feel it.
But it doesn’t mean that you will stay in that season. Please remember this: the right person will come along.
So don’t be fooled by your heart telling you to not to move on and to keep on holding on. Believe that the right one will come to make your heart at peace, make you feel loved and secured. He will not confuse you nor let change the way you are. The right one will come when you are ready.
So please allow me to share what are the things that you need to do while you are in the season of brokenness and you feel that you can’t move forward.
First, do not blame yourself. There are times when we are blaming ourselves because of the decisions that we’ve made in the past. We also become to ourselves that we can’t even find forgiveness to our own self. Can I be honest to you? I think it is not that you need to forgive the people who’ve hurt you. Assess yourself, because maybe you are being so hard to your own heart and you can’t find forgiveness. If you’ve made mistakes, that is totally fine because you will learn from those moments of breakdown. There’s growth in every failure. So stop blaming yourself. Forgive your heart, your soul, and your mind.
Secondly, always remember that God allowed people in your life not to stay for the rest of your life but to teach us something. I am not sure what is the reason why God allowed us to encounter different people in our life and will leave us with no reason, but one thing I am sure of everything has a purpose and at the end I pray that those experiences in life will bring glory to Him.
Third, do not stuck yourself in a place where you weren’t supposed to be. I know it’s hard to move forward especially when there is no closure given. But please hear me in this, could it be that the silence and no responses are also a form of closure? Learn to move on even though there are explanations that he owes to you. We can’t force people to stay.
Beloved, you deserve someone who is always sure of you, someone who will make you feel that you are loved and worthy.
Lastly, let God take in full control. It’s all about total surrender. Surrender the pain, the person, the sadness, the brokenness, the loneliness, the anger, the unforgiving heart, and the trauma of being left behind. Stop fighting hard for the people who never fight for you. Let God fight you in this season. God got your back.
Right now, start to say goodbye to the mistakes, failures, blame-game, and heartbreaks that you’ve been dealing over the past year. Free yourself from further pain. Don’t even think what’s wrong with you, because if you’ll ask me: NOTHING. You are perfectly you. And if there would be one thing you’ll be wrong about that is when you still force yourself to love them after all that has happened. So never ever let yourself do that. Don’t be so cruel to yourself and to your heart.
Most importantly, believe me that one day all the pain will heal. It will. One day, you’ll forget all the bad memories that person had left you with and soon you’ll find the one who’s right for you. That day will come to you, I promise. And life is so much better once you let it. Have patience and for now, take all the time that you need but try not to go back to that same old love when there are so many better and more exciting loves that you have yet to find. That person who is right for you, they’re out there.
Promise me that you won’t give up. Because YOU deserve the best love too.
Seasons of Waiting 